Story with the longest title in history
by Anna Elisabeth
Summary: What happened to Tom Zarek?


**Disclaimer: **Don't own anything Battlestar Galactica or Stargate Atlantis.

**Ten Hours After Baltar Regency – Time To Clean The Whorehouse Formerly Known As Colonial One formerly Known As Colonial Flight 798 which Will Be Going Down As Crack!Ship Airlock Or The Longest Title Since Badfic Known To Man, Woman Or Toaster**

These are the adventures of the brave little ship...erm, actually Ford wasn't here to name anything so we're just sticking to it as Crackship One for the moment.  
It's the year 3 since R.D.M. and we're loving it!

**Previously on Crackship One:**

There were 20 not-so-lucky additionals pretending to be 200 people, a little bit of bondage, the corner of shame was born and inbetween we got all teary because of Fat-Leemo, Flabamba and chocolate muffins. But what the little ship saw and heard that night you wouldn't believe.

_"I'm a ship, a little spaceship,  
give me names and call me cute,  
I have seen the devil's little brute."  
_

**And now the conclusion:**

There was Tom Zarek, former terrorist, former vice-president, pretty much all things of former, lying facedown in this big kitschy cuchy bed Dr. Batshit had brought with him into his makeshift whorehouse toastercentral office.  
Where he had found it we will never know.

And how Tom had gotten there our little ship didn't know either. It had been too distracted by someone tickling its metallic belly. 'Those pinky-skins called it "repair"' it huffed to itself.

Anyway, the little crackship got more and more annoyed by its new occupant and mostly his wall-vibrating snoring.

Tom Zarek, however, didn't know about any of these thoughts. He was sleeping peacefully dreaming of better times he hoped soon to come...when suddenly a sweet scent tickled his nostrils. And with it came an even sweeter voice calling his name.

He opened one eye drowsily and caught sight of two gorgeous, slender legs nearing the bed. He then glanced upwards and was rewarded with even more of perfect skin accentuated so nicely by one apparently always shrinking black skirt. 'Whoever does the laundry on that ship deserves a frakking medal.', Zarek thought.

"What are you grinning at?", Laura asked wiggling her brows at him sitting down right next to Tom.  
She crossed her legs casually.  
He rolled over on his side and propped himself up on his elbow. His approving looks not going unnoticed.

Laura bent over tugging on his chin so he had to look into her eyes and immediately felt like drowning into them. Her breathe brushing his lips sending shivers through his spine.

"Gotcha.", with this she stood up again in one smooth motion to leave perplexed little Tom. But not too perplexed to not catch her arm and haul her back down landing right on top of him.

An astonished "Mister Zarek" accompanied by a fit of giggles were her only reaction.

His reaction to the trembling body on top of him was a complete different one.

Feeling his arousel she started to snuggle into him moving ever so slightly doing no good to his already fragile state of mind. If he had known how mischievous she could be a year ago he would have tried to lay her instead of trying to win an election against her. So you could call it one long and weird foreplay. Next time he would enjoy her fiery looks a lot more. Next time...if he survived tonight.  
She knew damn well what she was doing to him and all the time an illuminating smile was playing on her lips.

"You kill me with your smile. So beautiful and wild.", he said catching her lips with his.

He moved his hands into her hair and started to play with her red curls. Their tongues brushing against each other, sending electrifying shocks through their bodies. Her hands tugging on his waitband to free his shirt. Then let them roam slowly over his chest. Her fingertips so cold sending shivers through him from head to toe and back up. Making him want her more. Right here. Right now. He entangled his right hand from her hair and let it explore her slender back, finding its way under her blouse, moving along the soft curves of her breasts. Making her gasps when he started massaging her nipples. Breaking their kiss his lips found her silken neck nibbling their way slowly to her ear. Both his hands grasped her hips to whirl her around on her back and...

...and in this moment Tom Zarek unluckily fell out of the bed awakening with a start.  
Very unlucky indeed, because 1) Laura was just a dream (in any sense of the word) and 2) he had broken his leg with this stunt. Shit happens.

And that's, Ladies and Gentlemen, is the reason the only reason why we don't see Tom for the rest of the season: He's twiddling his thumbs in the infirmary plotting a plan to snag Doc Cottle's last cigarette instead of drool-following his one true uber-cute President around the Fleet. Full stop.

Thankyou for your attention. End of lesson. You can thank me later.

_The End._


End file.
